Nov 09 2008
Does this tie make me look fat??
I know that this blog has to do with sports, but lately I have talking a bit about my life and how it relates to alcoholism. Yesterday was my birthday and I had a very relaxing and fun day. I wish the weather was a little better, but I was able to get outside for a very long run, and since I pushed myself really hard, my legs feel like Jello and the rest of my body feels like I got into a fight with a lawnmower. But it is a good sore. I got to see a picture of myself from last Christmas today when I looked pasty, white, with raccoon eyes, and my cheeks spread out farther than my ears. (Both cheeks, ass and face.) Safe to say I was a really fat, unhealthy man. 99% of that was due to the drinking, and when I drank, I liked to eat fast food. It was like my body would be telling me to quit being a jerk off and stop, and the greasy food somehow offset the effects of the gallons of alcohol that I was pouring in. I would think that with all the vomiting I was doing at the time, most of that food didn’t stay in my system long, but the 5000 calories of just booze I was taking in, was enough to last me 4 days, plus anything else I ate, just turned into my gut protruding beyond my toes. I must say, it is nice these days to look down and see my shoes again, my eyes are clear, and my face doesn’t look like Peter Griffin from Family Guy.
Since my brother took me out last night, and we went to Famous Dave’s, I ate a ton. If you haven’t been there in the midwest, it is a great BBQ place, but the portions are huge. Since I felt guilty, I pushed myself in cold weather to run longer than normal, to burn off that impending lard. Overall, I am happy today and although I am getting older and the girls I used to check out are now maybe 10 years younger than me, there is no need to be down. It is a new beginning for me, and a healthy new life. I keep holding on to that hope that I can stay healthy and sober. Anyone struggling with this disease just needs to have faith, hope, and confidence. I was a terrible, awful drunk. I did things that will stay with me always when I was drinking and although I never did anything that required any terrible punishment, I was a few more drinks to getting there. It’s very hard climbing out of Hell, it’s a long way up, but I see the light at the end, and that light represents peace. That’s something I haven’t felt since I was 17. It’s worth it.
Also, I got a few responses for the new puppy names. I got Shooter (from Hoosiers) and Wrigley (from that piss smelling, disgusting, degenerate filled, death trap home of the Cubs). Thanks for the responses and I would LOVE more. Thanks even for Wrigley too, I really appreciate it, but I have a reputation to keep up on this site as a Cub hater, so I must respectfully decline. 
