Oct 25 2008
If it was easy, then everyone could do it
Today was a great day as I got to spend it with my brother and we got to travel to Joliet to watch a good division 2 football game. My brother played for that college couple years back and he got to see some of his old friends. It was fun for me, especially spending some time with my brother who I don’t get to see all that often anymore, but it also let me do a lot of thinking. Seeing my bro with all his friends kind of made me sad that I didn’t stay in college and have that experience. I basically pissed my college time away because I was not mature enough to understand what a great opportunity that I had. It’s funny as I get older, I start feeling a lot of regret. I also regretted not seeing more of my brother’s games when he was in college. He is physical specimen and was even more when he played. Watching a bunch of guys I never met, and cheering for a school I didn’t even go to was alright, but I am regretting a lot of that time I wasted while he was in school taking care of things and people that ended up not really being in my best interests in the end. It’s hard as a recoverying alcoholic not to be overwhelmed with tons of regret. Everyday i think about things and how I could have done it differently. But at least now, I am having the opportunity to start my life over again. I need to be careful not to live in regret, but use those experiences to avoid certain situations and pitfalls. I have experienced a lot in my short time on this earth and a lot of it, I am not proud of. In order not to scare any family that may or may not know that much about me, I am not going to disclose some of the experiences, but it has made me so much stronger as a person. The funny thing about addiction is the expectation of perfection. An addict is far from perfect. I have relasped since I quit drinking. Thankfully, nothing was too bad or damaging and always limited to a day and not a binge like I used to go on. I used to always feel bad thinking about it, but then i remembered how hard addiction is to handle. If beating an addiction was easy and wasn’t full of struggles, then everyone would be able to do it and the world would have a lot less prisoners, homeless, and poor. For any of you out there having trouble quiting anything, don’t stop trying. There will be bumps in the road, all you can do is keep going forward. Don’t live in regret, take that time and energy and plan your future. ML
I’m watching Penn St. and Ohio St play today. I am rooting for old man Joe Paterno to have a great season. Go Nittany Lions!!!
